“Open wide for me.  That’s it.  Now you’re going to feel a little pinch.”  This is what my dentist told me before inserting an 18 inch needle in the back of my gums all the way down to my elbow…..twice.  “There.  Now we’ll just let that settle in,” He said.  I lay there with the brightest of lights shining through my sunglasses waiting for his return.  The rest is pretty much routine.  A little drilling, a little filling and a little polishing and the tiny cavity was all gone.  Then I started to drool.  When you get these little shots they don’t just go away in a few minutes.  First you have to chew your cheeks into hamburger without knowing it and do fun mouth acrobatics like trying to drink through a straw.

I hadn’t spoken to anyone other than to say, “Thank you.” to the folks at the counter as I left and I thought it might be good to go to Lowes to see about a small fence I’d been thinking about for the dogs.  I knew I couldn’t read the Daily Audio Bible in my condition so I thought I’d run my errands.  I walked around Lowes until I found the fencing and then looked for an associate to help me.  I don’t remember her name but lets call her…..Margaret.  Margaret was the first person I talked to after my shots.

“Cn you thell me whare I cn geth helf with fences,” I asked?

She looked at me with sudden understanding.  I had some sort of mental disability or was recovering from a stroke.

She smiled big and talked VERY slowly back to me as she guided my elbow toward the front counter.

“I — can — taaaake  —–you —–to someone —who —will —-help,” Margaret smiled knowingly.

I realized that there was no way for me to explain myself.  It would take too many words that would come falling sideways out of my mouth along with a bubbly stream of spittle.  I’m an introvert.  I’d rather be thought of as “challenged” than that.

I drove away from there thinking of those who have dealt with stroke or other challenges.  Whose minds are utterly sharp but whose bodies will not respond to their wills and wishes.

Then it dawned on me.

The jaw numbing truth is that most of the time this is the reality of the Body of Christ.  We live as if we’ve been given a shot of something to numb us.  When we try to share the Gospel we often act like the stereotypes treating the “sinner” like Margaret or simply being so cool and relevant that it doesn’t matter one way or the other.

I look at the Gospels and I don’t see this in Jesus.  I see it in me but not Him.  He’s….well He’s just Jesus.  He’s what he appears to be.  He’s not trying to be anything.  He’s not trying to dumb Himself down or smart Himself up.  He tells stories when that’s most suited and He speaks plain when that’s best.  He heals, He has compassion, He revolts against things that keep people in bondage and He makes room for the lowliest and he makes space for Himself and maintains His connection with God.

So what’s so hard about that?  Jesus models life.  He’s fully human living in a fully fallen world and yet He shows us what life can look like.  What’s with all the layers and posturing we do?  Especially when it comes to our “religion?”  Is it really good news or not?  If it is why not live like it were true?  Why not live like Jesus were alive within us?  Seriously.  This can be another blog or we can think it over.  Is what Jesus accomplished good news?  Really?  If it is then why does it need some sort of palatable wrapper that we think makes it more tasty to those who don’t know it?  When we try to spice it up, deep fry it, frost it or dip it in brown sugar it ends up sounding like we can’t talk.  Like we’ve been given a shot.  Like we’re drooling out the side of our mouths.

If Jesus is alive in us and He is true then it needs no modification.  It is what it is.  Some will be compelled, others will be revolted just as it was with Christ and just like He said it would be.  Perhaps we need to stop caring what people think and start simply being Jesus to the world and for that matter just start being ourselves.

If one does a web search for “forgiveness” one will be treated to a plethora of information on the subject.  It’s a hot topic.  Blog after blog are written about personal stories of it and tips for doing it better.  With all this talk of why we should forgive, how it’s necessary to our personal and spiritual growth and how it will break so many of the chains surrounding our lives why is it so hard to do?

We have such a sense of justice when we’re wronged.  The songwriter Jonatha Brooke says, “You take such pleasure in revenge.  A perfect settled score.  But it just whets your appetite for more.”  We do not like to release someone from their sins against us because the release means that they get to get away with something they shouldn’t have.  This can be as simple as cross words in a late night argument or as huge as the date-rape in college and worse.  Certain offenses when compared with more serious trespasses begin to seem trivial and yet there is something that holds us back from releasing an offender no matter how trivial.

I’ve heard lots of reasons to forgive.  I’ve lived through a number of things that I’ve had to struggle to let go of.  Heck, I still struggle to let go of certain things.  With all the right reasons there is a glaring one that I’m not finding much in the blogosphere or pulpitorium these days.

In the Gospel of Mark Jesus has gathered up the courage and moved from his nice home along the shores of Galilee for the last time and gone to Jerusalem.  He’s been given the welcome of a common hero/king, he scouts out the temple and heads to Bethany.  The next morning Jesus is ready to make some waves and on His way into town the infamous cursing of the fig tree happens.  Once the clearing of the temple is completed and Jesus has sufficiently pissed off the priests and teachers of religious law the crew heads back out of Jerusalem.  The very next morning they pass the same tree.  It’s withered and dead.  The disciples are impressed.  Jesus is matter-of-fact.

“I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart.  I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.”

We western Christians love this stuff.  Power.  Mountains moving.  Authority.  It’s awesome.  We love to encourage a brother or sister who is going through a trial with the idea that if they hang in there and have the faith, “that mountain is gonna move just you wait and see.”  And I’m not trying to poke fun honestly.  I believe it.  In fact I believe it a LOT.  Jesus said, “I’m telling you the truth.” before He talked about it so I believe it as sure as I believe I’m typing these words.  The irony is that Jesus takes a breath and keeps going and we almost never seem to read the rest.  We stop with the power and mountains moving and doubting not in our hearts.

“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”

What the……?  So let me get this straight.  YES we can move mountains if we have faith and do not doubt in our hearts.  In fact we can do just about anything.  But while we are praying and taking that authority FIRST FORGIVE ANYONE WE ARE HOLDING A GRUDGE AGAINST?  So that the Father will also forgive us our sins?  Doesn’t that explain a lot?  We like our authority and we cannot figure out why the mountains don’t always move.  We settle for our lack of faith and all the doubt when unforgiveness could actually be the culprit.

Unforgiveness can be kryptonite to our faith.  It can destroy us.  If we were unforgiven we would die in our sins and yet if we refuse to forgive we are keeping ourselves in the very cage Jesus came to free us from.   In this season of Lent, it all starts with forgiveness.

“Forgive us our trespasses AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US.”

Rend your hearts and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and repents of evil. [Joel 2:13]

So we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We beseech you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled with God. [I Cor.5:20]

All my life I thought Lent was a strange and old Christian custom that had no value to anyone but Roman  Catholic believers.  In school and in my early adulthood I’d hear people say things like, “I’m giving up chocolate for Lent,” or “I’m giving up caffeine,” or with a smirk, “I’ve sworn off sex for Lent.”  Why give up good things for Lent I’d think?  It makes sense to stop drinking yourself to sleep or using illegal drugs to medicate the pain but why give up something good?

Less than a week ago I was in Israel.  In Jerusalem there are ancient ruins of the High Priest Caiaphas’ quarters.  Outside is a garden with ancient steps leading from the Kidron Valley past the dwelling of the high priest and on into the city.  This is one of the places a believer can go and with certainty know that Jesus walked on those steps.  They were used to bring him before religious leaders who would subsequently get him executed.  The Apostle Peter denied Jesus there.  I lingered at the steps a long time.  I considered my own denials.  The big and small ones.  The way I deny Jesus with my actions and the posture of my heart.  It was a sobering moment to realize Jesus deliberately walked up those steps to his own death on behalf of all of us.

As I consider my little denials and my plausible denials, and frankly the out and out ways I sometimes say, “I don’t know the man,” I consider Lent.  Is giving up chocolate going to right this?  Perhaps like so many traditions we forget why we’re doing them.  Lent is supposed to be a season that leads us to Good Friday.  We sit with the fact that our sin costs something.  It costs us in our families, it costs us in our bodies, it costs us in our soul.  Sin leads to death and if there were ever a day of death it’s Good Friday when the man whom I claim is my very closest friend was executed unfairly in an agony filled bloody gasp.  We’re supposed to sit with that for forty days.  Sin costs something and sin leads to death.  When we realize this we begin to also realize that perhaps our lives have fallen out of alignment with God.  It is from this place that we invite the Holy Spirit to speak of things both good and bad that we’ve allowed to interfere.  It’s those things we lay down for Lent.  Some of these things are actually good things that belong in our lives that we’ve allowed to become more important to us than Jesus.  Things we go to for comfort and life and in doing so deny Him.  During Lent we lay those things down and give God permission to re-integrate them into our lives where they belong.

May this season of Lent be less about lowering our sugar intake and more about setting things right.  Sin leads to death.  Lent leads to Good Friday.  This is what we are to sit with.  But in sitting with the cost of Christ’s suffering we look beyond to Easter when the flash of resurrection fills our lives with hope.  If we embrace Lent and allow Jesus to orient our lives once more, the resurrection will certainly come.